Sisters

When sister #3 walked in to the room, I turned to her and said "cute acne"....
She responded "I think your new meds are making your tourettes worse".

So it is with my sisters. We know each other. All of each other. The good, the bad, the fat and the ugly. When sister #4 was extremely pregnant and people were telling (lying to) her how great she looked, it was  her sisters who told her she was seriously swollen and her face looked bee stung.
When I complain to them how fat I feel, they don't say "come on, you look fine". They say "yep, what are you gonna do about it?".
When sister #1 tells us how she thinks her house is cluttered; we're quick to point out she may be one shit stack away from an episode of hoarders.

It's our way. Some may find it hyper-critical, judgmental and rude. I wouldn't disagree, but it's our way.  In fact, I wouldn't really know how to be nice and polite with them. It would feel so....wrong. It would feel distant and dishonest.

Part of being in a sisterhood is that there are always 3 other women who you can call and say- "Do you know who I really love/hate/don't get/want to murder?" You can discuss your GI tract in more detail than you would with a specialist. Ditto for your vajay-jay tract. In fact, there are no bodily functions or fluids that haven't been talked about to death around our dining room tables. And that doesn't even cover the tribulations of unwanted body hair. That's a topic that never gets old in this family.

Part of being in a sisterhood is that there are no children in this vast universe than I love more than my biological three. Except for my sisters kids. They come in awfully close.

Part of being in sisterhood is that you always have 3 other women who know your parents like you do, have the same issues with them as you do, want to kill them sometimes in the same way you do. You have 3 other women who think about what we're going to do when they get demented and need Depends. "Not it" isn't an acceptable answer.

We also come up with our own emoticons:

; /  bells palsy

: {  cleft palate

: = )  happy hitler

I mean even if you're not our sister, that shit's funny. 

Weird thing with my sisterhood- we find the same things hilarious and devastating. I know exactly what movies will make them ugly cry. I know what email will have them peeing themselves.
I've been asked if I ever missed having a brother. Never. Not once. There wouldn't be room for a brother in this sisterhood. He would have felt like an outsider.

The sisterhood gives me fashion advice ("That outfit needs to be destroyed...today), childrearing advice ("your daughter is a hot mess of a disaster"), weight loss advice ("you're fat because you eat too much and don't exercise; it's not rocket science") and home decor advice ("it smells like pee in your house").

If today was my last day on earth, I know the sisterhood would pick up the pieces and love my kids forever. I know there are 3 other women who have my back.