Sleep

There's something  beautiful about sleeping. It's even more beautiful to know that you're going to get to sleep undisturbed, as late as you want, for as long as you want. It's the 'anticipatory sleep" that I would argue may be even better than the actual sleep.
I find myself unusually tired these last few days. Maybe it's my thyroid, maybe it's viral, maybe I have leukemia. Probably not that. But you never know.
It's probably because I haven't slept through the night in about 9 years. No pity for me- I totally created these sleepholes (the little people that rob me of slumber). They all end up in my bed starting from about 2am. And then we're up at 6:30am. Now I know that we're lucky as hell to be able to get up and not have to take a bus to the factory to assemble cardboard boxes. Or that these sleepholes are healthy and continue to breathe all day long. We have a really cushy, lucky life. That being said, I would give my left nipple to sleep until noon.
"You'll sleep when you're dead", people have said to me.
News flash, that's not sleep. That's being dead. I won't enjoy the "sleep" because I'll be....dead.
I am always in awe of people who wake up at 5am to exercise or to just get "an early start" to their day.  How does that work? What makes them get vertical and put one foot in front of the other at that hour? The only thing I want badly enough at 5am is more sleep.
I admire those people like I admire anorexics. Kudos to you for that kind of willpower. Even if it's fueled by the crazies.
The few times I've gotten up at the ass crack of dawn to exercise (actually twice), I definitely felt good 2 hours after it was done. But I felt like ass the hour before, the hour of and the hour afterwards. Like night shift ass. That feeling of moving slowly through cotton candy. I promptly learned that I wasn't the kind of person who rose like a lion to take on the day especially when that day started with a treadmill. F*ck that. I had more important things to do...like staying unconscious.
So for Mothers Day this year, I am going to sleep in. And I won't even have to lose a nipple in the process. Husband will take the sleepholes far far away. I don't even want them on my front lawn. I want them somewhere where they need a car to get back home.
So to my little darlings whom I created and love with all of my being:  Mama needs to sleep and will physically harm you if you wake me up before 10am. Because it's my day, goddamn it, and that's what I want. I'll love the wrinkled paper flowers and sloppy card way more if I haven't been up since 6:30am.
Thanks in advance my little sleepholes. Mama loves you.